Back to WWCW RPs

Wilburman - the Babe Magnet...
you can stop laughing now

(Scene opens in a WWCW house show. It's Saturday night, and everyone is a bit rowdy with a bit too much drinking. Not that any of us mind cause it certainly encouraged the teenage girls in the top balcony to throw us their tops and show us their puppies!! WWWWWWWOOOOOOOO!! PUPPIES!!---- Oh wait, roleplay... oh well... anyway, a jobber match is going on right now between the legendary Mystery Coat Man and the old veteran warhorse Pickaxe. Pickaxe has this one wrapped up as he goes to the top turnbuckle and aims for a big elbow, when all of a sudden, Mystery Coat Man gets up and nails his finisher the Coat Hold!! That's a running chokeslam from the top rope for those of you old enough to remember who Mystery Coat Man is... he covers, 1-2-3!! UNBELIEVABLE!! Mystery Coat Man gains his third ever professional wrestling win since defeating Nitro and Brad Britainnia!! Pickaxe slides out of the ring as Mystery Coat Man jumps up and down in the ring and the fans actually applaud him for this remarkable achievement. Just then, the arena lights dim and the unmistakable "You all ready?" sounds over the speakers. Cue intro of Blaze of Glory as the fans go wild. End of intro, cue a louder "I SAID... YOU ALL READY?!!" and Something for the Pain kicks in and out walks the Wilburman. Not in his wrestling attire, just a Wilburman T-shirt and ripped jeans. He walks round ringside and grabs a mic before entering the ring. Mystery Coat Man goes to exit the ring but Wilburman stops him in his tracks)

W: Whoa whoa whao!! Where'd you think you're going?

(The fans go nuts as chants of "HIT HIM!!" echoes in the arena. Mystery Coat Man looks a little scared and doesn't know whether to attack or just stand there and look dumb like he is doing just now)

W: (Smiles) I just wanna congratulate you on the rare win you dumb arse!!

(Wilburman extents his hand and Mystery Coat Man shakes it but the fans are still chanting "HIT HIM!!" Mystery Coat Man senses what's coming and tries to leave the ring but Wilburman does not let go of the hand to which the fans really cheer for. Mystery Coat Man is visibly shaking)

W: Please, you have him all nervous thinking that I am gonna hit him or something!!

(Big pop)

W: Look Rob, I ain't gonna hit you just cause the fans want me to, I ain't gonna hit you just cause the fans are screaming for me to hit you...

(Mystery Coat Man breathes a sigh of relief)

W: I am gonna hit you for being the arsehole that you are!!

(Kick to the gut followed by an X-factor and Mystery Coat Man is out of it. What'd ya expect? The fans scream in delight as Mystery Coat Man rolls out of the ring)

W: NOW!! Welcome to the...

Crowd: MEAN HOUSE OF JUSTICE!!

W: (Smiles) Ok, let's cut to the chase, first order of business, the so called Brig and a certain Wolverine and Jay Hunter...

(The fans immediately boo)

W: You guys, like Rob there, you guys are simply put, a bunch of idiots... you guys come out here and say that the B-L-K-O-T interfered and cost Wolvie his match?? You guys say that everyone's favourite lunatic jumped you from behind?? Ok, let me just say this for the record... you guys are the worst liars and storytelling jackasses I have ever seen and heard EVER!! Roll the tapes!!

(The DizzyTron lights up and we cut back to Thursday Night Anarchy in the match up between Wilburman and Wolverine:-

RG: Wilburman is looking to end this one quick!! He's signalling for the Justice!!

JS: WAIT!! YES!! HERE COMES JAY HUNTER!!

(Jay rushes down the ramp and attempts to enter the ring. But the ref sees him and stops him in the second rope. Wilburman goes over and swings at Jay Hunter but inadvertently hits the ref.)

JS: REF BUMP!! YES!! CHEATING GALORE!!

RG: Wilburman and Jay Hunter are now getting it on in the ring!! Standing drop kick by Jay!!

JS: Elbow drop from the top rope!! Jay now drags Wolverine on Wilburman!!

RG: Someone wake up the ref!! WAIT!! Here comes someone else!!

(A figure dressed in a black trenchcoat jumps over the guardrail from the front row and enters the ring. Jay sees him and goes for a superkick, but the figure ducks it and nails a spear before taking off the coat to reveal the unmistakable...)

JS: IT'S BLACKOUT!!! JT BLACKOUT IS BACK!! HE'S HELPING OUT HIS LONG TIME FRIEND WILBURMAN!!

The DizzyTron goes back to blank and we cut back to Wilburman standing in the ring with the fans cheering louder than before)

W: YOU JAY HUNTER!! You provoked Blackout's appearance! You stuck your nose where business don't concern you, and rather simply put, you got your butt kicked and quite rightfully so!! Wolvie, don't go crying about how I screwed you, don't go cry about how Blackout screwed you, and I have no idea where you get the idea that Habringer even stepped into the ring, nevermind screwing with ya, and don't talk jibberish about how I cannot beat you, the fact of the matter is, I beat you, I beat you right in the middle of the ring, and you didn't get screwed by me, you got screwed with your own backup plan and you know that's the Justice!! I know Blackout wants to kick you and your prick arses, but that's he wants, but if you ever dream of trying to do to him what you did to me, I got two tips for ya, Blackout is a lunatic, he won't react as... well, let's just say as "rational" as yours truly, and secondly, I will do what Blackout did for me, so basically, don't give me a reason to kick your prick arses from here to Mars!! As far as I am concerned, I have no further business with you, you can think of all the wonderful bunny crap you want on how you will step into the ring with me again, the bottom line is I am done toying with you and your Brig, go and earn your dues, try get a win over the likes of maybe the great Mystery Coat Man! (Cheer - for some unknown reason...) I have proper business to content with, so screw you...

(The fans cheers on as Wilburman paces about the ring looking onto the drunken rowdy crowd. So rowdy that someone threw in a thong right in front of the Mean One. Wilburman smiles and goes to pick up the piece of garment and throws it back where it came from)

W: Thanks, but my wife will interrogate me senseless if I was to take that home with me... NOW!! Onto PROPER business, that being the WWCW Intercontinental Championship!!

(Crowd cheer)

W: Now, for all those of you who watched WWCW Power Struggle, you would have all seen some gruesome actions, from the Triple Threat tag match (cheer) to the Warehouse Match for the Hardcore title (mixed reactions), to the Stairway to Hell I Quit match (definite boo since the victor of the match is that little lovable midget)... to the TL--- opps, sorry, what I mean to say was T *T* LC match!! (big pop) Now, kudos to the Icon (cheer), kudos to the Golden Boy (boos from the crowd), and kudos to Matt Dragon, we sure had a cracker of a match, only for a guy named Urchin to ruin the proceedings!!

(The crowd are REALLY booing now)

W: Now, I think that Habringer and Shawn and Matt all deserve another crack at the belt, but I couldn't help but notice Matt Dragon being a little quiet, well, his misfortune... now I *know* I want to kick Urchin's butt... (more cheer)... so here is what I have in mind...

(As the fans cheer on, Wilburman pauses dramatically and looks onto the crowd)

W: Thursday Night Anarchy, Shawn Hart, Habringer, you guys have a title shot!! Urchin, you're gonna get your butt kicked courtesy of the Mean Champion of Justice!! Thursday Night Anarchy, "The Golden Boy" Shawn Hart, Habringer "The Icon", Urchin The Grif-babysitter, and the WWCW IC Champ the Wilburman, in the same ring!! Fatal Fourway for the IC Belt!!

(The fans go nuts over the challenge as Wilburman pauses again until the fans calm down again)

W: The challenge has been laid, are you game? Just bare this in mind, Habringer, Shawn, I have no intentions of passing the torch just yet, I just want to give the fans what they want, and that's a hell of a cracking match! Urchin, I sure as hell have no intention of giving you the IC belt, I know you want it, but you know what? You're not gonna get it, instead, I'm gonna give you the ABSOLUTELY!!

Crowd: POSITIVELY!!

W: GOBSMACKINGLY the damnest and meanest arse kicking of your life!!!

(More crowd cheer)

W: Urchin, 10 months ago when I was a mere newbie, when I first joined WWCW, when I was just learning the ropes, you were the WWCW World Champ, in some ways, 10 months on, I ought to look at it as a bit of an honor to actually fight you... (crowd boos) but you know what? Some things change, I am no longer a newbie learning the ropes... and some things don't change, you are still an arsehole...

(Huge pop)

W: So listen up, I know I've said it before, and I've said it again, but by golly, I'll say it again and again... heed these words... for you Urchin, beware for the full unbridled fury that is Wilburmania, beware of the Justice, for Justice is blind, and Justice... will... be... served...

(Cue Something for the Pain and Wilburman exits the ring hi-fiving a few fans. As he gets near the ramp, a bra drops in front of the Mean One. He picks it up and tosses it back into the crowd and makes a quick and hasty exit backstage... women... gotta love them... drunk women... now we're talking...

;-)

Scene fades out.)