Back to WWCW RPs

Who am I? Why, I believe they call me Wilburman...

(Scene opens inside the Mean Hotel. More specifically, we are in the Mean Suite with Wilburman. He is in his Wilburmania boxers, the telly is on making some noise and Wilburman is reading the newspaper. There was a soft barking noise when Wilburman smiles, as the noise gets a bit louder, the door to the Suite opens and in walks Carrie (Mrs Wilburman) with the cutest St Barnard. The wee puppy jumps on the Mean One's laps and Wilburman pets it a little. Carrie has many differently sized and shaped bags... obviously just been out on a shopping spree... women... the wee puppy leaps from Wilburman and into the shopping bags as Carrie crashes on the couch and places herself next to Wilburman.)

W: You look tired... for someone who had a day off shopping...

C: And what you gonna do about that?

W: Massage you?

C: You better if you know what's good for you!

(Wilburman obliges and goes about rubbing her neck, then shoulder, then--- oh wait, there are children watching... well, in that case, rather appropriately, Mike the Hotel Manager knocks on the door. Wilburman calls him in and he has a video in his hand)

W: Hey Mikester, wassup?

M: A video for you, just came in, this one is from WWCW...

W: Oh good, could you pop it in the VCR for us?

M: Sure... what you want me to do next? Wrestle for you as well?

W: HAHAHAAA! Look, a damn good hotel manager you are, but a wrestler you'll never be!

M: (Putting the video in the VCR) I know, why do you think I hire bouncers for?

W: You stick to the hotel business and I'll stick to the wrestling!

M: Sorted. Right, I'll get back to my work, later.

W: Later mate.

(The video plays and it's a collection of the latest promos cut by the WWCW roster. Wilburman smiles a bit as Joey makes even more enemy. He then burst into a fit of laughter whilst witnessing the actions of a drunk Grif)

W: He sounds sober when drunk... interesting...

(The video then cuts to the two promos cut by Wolverine and Jay Hunter. Wilburman listened in on the words Wolverine had to say, listened to what he requested, a title shot match - Wolverine wanted a title shot if he was victorious. Wilburman thought about the challenge but then the video jumped to Jay Hunter's promo, and Wilburman lost all concentration.)

W: What the hell is this guy jibbering about??

(Wilburman stands up and switches off the VCR and goes to make a phone call)

W: Hello? Yeah, I want to speak to Bruce Jones... uh-huh... He is not allowed on another outing assignment until he pays Grif and co's pub bills... well, in that case, I want to speak to Julia Parker... yeah I'll hold...

(Turning to his wife)

W: This is scandalous, having a member of their own staff put on hold, ludicrous---

(turns back to phone)

W: Oh hi Julie, listen, I want to do a wee promo, think you could get a camera crew over? Uh-huh... uh-huh... ok, well, I'll be in the Mean Bar at about 3pm, see you then? Sound.

(Scene fades... this calls for some time traveling)

(Time Travel~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ this time traveling experience was brought to you by Wilburmania Time Travel Agency, sponsored by Wilburman.com... :-) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DING! 3:05pm that day)

(Scene opens at the Mean Bar. A cleared area has been set out and the WWCW camera crew have set up the equipment and the cameraman calls "Action")

W: To start things off, I am going to address one Jay Hunter, Jay, who the hell is Silverberg? The name is WILBURMAN!! Jay Hunter, you can mumble all the bunny crap you want about your Brigs or the Four Pricks or whatever the hell it is, the fact of the matter is, I don't get over by cheap pops, I get over by wrestling in the ring, kicking people's butt, and winning matches in grand slam fashion. Mess with the Brig? Listen up little dude, it don't matter who you got, or who you think you got, I've messed with the best of the best of the best, from the US to all over Europe and even to Japan, and each and every time, I may have come out bruised, I may have come out even black and blue, but like you say, the thing is just this: I came out on top. You can talk all the rubbish you want, but it doesn't take away the fact that the Wilburman is one of the best wrestlers of all time, and that he really hates lollipops...

(Wilburman looks away from the camera briefly before looking back into the lense)

W: Now, Wolvie, I gotta ask this... you call me out to a match, going through all the trouble of making up some story about lollipops, and then you ask "Who is Wilburman?" What are you a comedian? If you want to know who I am, go over to the WWCW Headquaters, get on the lift, second floor to the merchandise department, they've got plenty of videos for you to do some homework on!! Now, you then come out with your scarey voice with your [girlish voice]I have more blood on my hands than you can imagine[/girlish voice]? That suppose to impress someone? Well the Wilburman says BULL-YOURS!! Some housewives or school children might be scared of you, but if you want to scare me, or intimidate me, you gonna have to do a whole lot better that that. You don't intimidate me, Jay Hunter don't intimidate me, you and your Brig sure as hell don't intimidate me. Don't disgrace your Brig? Sure, just don't get them in the same ring as me. Wolvie, you want a title shot if you win? Good luck. Guys like Shawn Hart and Habringer couldn't put one over me, what makes you think you can? So come Thursday, Wolvie, I'll be killing you, and Jay, if you dare stick your nose where it don't belong, just remember, I got a gang of my own...

Heheh, catch yous later...

(The camera fades and scene goes out.)