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Dark Matches can really suck...

(Scene opens in the arena, it's Friday night and we are anticipating the arrival of the delayed Anarchy show. We hear Billy Shepperd announcing to the fans the dos and don'ts before the show got underway. As soon as he had finished, the fans are treated to a couple of dark matches before the show kicked off. Even for jobber matches, they were more entertaining than a Nitro main event. But one particular match did not deliver the expected standard, needless to say, they were booed all the way. The Mystery Coat Man has a headlock on Sir Losalot for about 5 minutes now, and doesn't look like letting go either. In the thick of the boos, a loud round of cheer broke out as we see the Mean One makes his way down the ring unannounced. He is not in his wrestling attire, just normal street clothes. He hops on the ring apron and punches the on coming MCM in the face. As he stumbles backwards, Wilburman enters the ring and clothesline MCM to the mat. Sir Losalot gets back up and sees the Mean One, he raises his hand as if to leave the ring. Wilburman turns his back on him and is attacked from behind, but being the jobbers they are, the attack was pretty piss-poor. Wilburman turned around and grabs Losalot by the throat and chokeslams him hard on the mat. The crowd cheers for the break in this dull match as Wilburman calls for a mic. As Billy Shepperd throws one to him, MCM and Sir Losalot rolls out of the ring and make a hasty escape to the back.)

W: WELCOME to the Mean House of Justice!!

(Crowd cheers)

W: Well, first of all, I am here to say a little something to all you folks on behalf of WWCW... Sorry... but you see, being as good as WWCW is, you can't help it when other feds get jealous and sabotage our shows, but no matter what they do, WWCW will ALWAYS be the best damn fed around!!

(More crowd cheers)

W: Now, I want to say a little something to my opponent tonight, the Chairman...

(The crowd boos)

W: Chairman, you sir... are a piece of bunny crap... (Crowd cheers) You think you are so smart with your little conspiracy theory that the Mean One is scared of you? Well the Wilburman says...

Crowd: BULL-YOURS!!

W: Chairman, I've faced folks bigger, more hardcore, more powerful than you can imagine, I've even faced folks that I was actually afraid of losing to and I still came out on top! You? You are just some piece of bunny crap who wishes to be big, well, tonight Chairman, I will bring you back down to Earth, and with a loud BANG too!! You say I ain't responding to your promos? Well, I don't need to tell people how good I am in the ring, I don't need to blow up people's cars to get people's attention, I do my talking in the ring... Chairman, you want to mess with the Mean One, you got it!! And Missy, Saul Hudson, don't think I've forgotten about yous, if you even think of stepping into the ring, I guarantee that you will live to regret it for the rest of your life, I've said it once, I'll say it again, the Wilburman is the equallest equal opportunity arse kicker in this side of the galaxy, I don't care if you are Missy, Chairman, Saul Hudson, Joey Midget, Vince Machman, Homer Simpson or Will O'Glibb, you go as far as stepping into that ring and interfere in the match, then your butt will be kicked UP AND DOWN THE ARENA ALL NIGHT LONG TIL IT TURNS SEVEN SHADES OF GREEN!!! Chairman, fear not, regardless of what you do, your butt will be kicked either way! (Crowd screaming cheers) Chairman, you are right about one thing, I am confident, there is only a handful of people in this fed that can actually give me a challenge, you? You might get there someday, but you aren't there yet, not by a long shot...

(Wilburman pauses for a brief moment and looks on to the cheering crowd before refocusing back to the camera)

W: Now, I see that you and your girl have been setting fire to things on purpose, Chairman, I ought to call the authorities and have your arse arrested!! BUT!! Seeing that might give you an excuse to change your name to 83173562897561937, I have decided against that... Chairman, Missy, congratulations, you just got your arses served by the Mean Court of Justice! THIS is the Mean House of Justice! THIS is the Mean Court! THESE are the Mean Wilburmaniacs! THEY are the Mean Jury! And the jury says your verdict is...

Crowd: GUILTY!!

W: Your sentence is excessive pain... and JUSTICE... WILL... BE... SERVED!!!

(Huge pop)

W: I'll catch yous all later...

(Wilburman exits to backstage as the fans get on their feet and scene fades out.)