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Special Interview from Wilburman.com

Interview with Wilburman @ Edinburgh Airport
Morning of 7th July 2000
Report by Kyle McGuire

Ladies and gentlemen, I am Kyle, webmaster of Wilburman.com, and one of many reporters for news concerning the Mean Champion of Justice himself. Recently there had been many character damaging rumours concerning the former IWA World Heavyweight Champion. I had the opportunity this morning to get the REAL truth from Wilburman himself, all the way from Edinburgh Airport in Scotland as the Mean Couple were preparing their flight home. Here's what Wilburman had to say.

Kyle: So Wilburman, the burning question is this, Chamber's video and damaging allegations, on behave of every wrestling fan out there, is there ANY truth in them?

Wilburman: Yes Kyle, there are truths in there, and no Kyle, it's not the full story.

Kyle: Please explain.

Wilburman: That video, the stud we saw handling the 4 ladies, yes, that was yours truly. That was me, and that really was Amsterdam. However, that's the end of the truth, all the others are just pure and simple BS from the mouth of Chamber.

Kyle: So you admit to have slept with other women?

Wilburman: Before I got married - yes.

Kyle: (speechless)

Wilburman: I said before I got married. See, for a man, there are certain things you need to learn. When you are single, and unattached to relationships, you are a free man, you can do what you please, and as the case was, I was travelling around the world at the time, hell, I wasn't even a wrestler then. That video was 4 years ago, when I was still a young kid exploring life, and when you are in a youth hostel and 4 hot girls hit on you, well, any man would have difficulty saying no. Unless you're gay.

Kyle: Amen to that brotha.

Wilburman: But when you are married, that rule changes. You can look, stare, and talk to other girls, but golden rule - don't you dare touch. Chamber, how dare you question my respect and integrity for love and marriage to my wife? And how would you know about marriage dumbo? I'm the one married, you're the one filming porn you pervert. No one gives a damn if you have a 12 inch dick or a 12 foot dick, it still don't change the fact that you are, and always will be, a walking prick!

Kyle: (chuckles)

Wilburman: And all these dumbasses asking people if they know who they are, I mean, what is with that? Let's start with Caligula, the worse liar of all time, "Do you know who I am?" Yeah Cal, I know exactly who you are, you're an Irishman that thinks he's a dead Roman, you're a liar, you're the real cheat. And soon enough, I'll knock you, and whatever army you can assemble together, I'll knock all of yous out for the century. Now Nanook, another one, yeah we know who you are, you're a bloody joke; as the Cow God, you were a joke; as the Cow Boy, you were a joke; as the Irate Eskimo, you were a joke still; and now, as the IWA Commissioner, that's as disastrous as JT Blackout becoming Vice Prez of IWA, oh wait, that did happen... regardless, Nanook, you're still just a damn joke... and Chamber, we all know who Chamber is, he is nothing more than a lying piece of scum, who got his arse kicked so bad that he has to go back in denial; and a wannabe porn star.

Kyle: But with 12 inches, he'd make a fortune...

Wilburman: Kyle, he could have had a 12 foot prick and it sill wouldn't matter, you think he didn't try to become a porn star? Oh he tried alright, and he failed, that limp bitch couldn't get 12 millimetres up, why do you think he has to resort to secretly taping porn?

Kyle: Well, it could be cause it---

Wilburman: For god sake don't answer that, Wilburman.com is an international website, I don't want to be sued over misuse of words by my webmaster.

Kyle: Sorry. Well, how did Empress take it?

Wilburman: With some laughing, some moaning, and some loving.

Kyle: Care to explain?

Wilburman: I already answered you. You do the imagining.

Kyle: (Pauses to think)

Wilburman: Kyle?

Kyle: Oh sorry.

Wilburman: Don't make me deduct your wage.

Kyle: Won't happen again, sorry. So what next for Wilburman? Your little feud with Caligula seems to be over with. Will you be refocusing your attentions on regaining the IWA World Heavyweight Championship Title?

### At this point the speakers sounds and announces that Wilburman and Empress' flight is ready for check-in ###

Wilburman: That's my call. I'll catch you back in USA.

Kyle: Wilburman, you didn't answer my question!

Wilburman: Chamber, I'll see you on Sacrifice.

Report by Kyle McGuire.